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Jun. 26th, 2009 | 05:29 pm

I've been feeling a little better lately, mood-wise, but for the most part I'm still feeling not-very-grounded and more or less completely lost in a kind of "everyone/thing has suddenly abandoned me and I'm not ready for this on my own" way. But I didn't suddenly die, the world around me has not spontaneously combusted or anything... hell, I haven't even been fired from my job or evicted from my house. So I guess I must be stayin' afloat.

I go to work every day reluctantly because at the end of the day, I never feel like I've done much of anything. Have I positively impacted a kid's day? Possibly sort-of sometimes... Have I made their parents' days easier? Maybe, but only maybe. Am I the most qualified person to be doing what I'm doing, am I doing the best job anyone could do? Certainly not. Am I even doing a neutral job? Usually... So I guess that's something... I come home from work entirely beat, which is a kind of nice feeling, but would be better if it followed what I'd consider a productive day; I feel like a lot of the time we're just helping the kids pass the time, which is nearly unacceptable to me as a serious and experienced camp counselor. I object to the way that my boss runs our classroom, but mostly I just hope it'll get better over the summer as it's his first year with this position.

Because I'm pretty much destroyed after work, I haven't been doing much... I'm far past ready for the weekend, which is finally, finally here.

I made a friend who I think I could legitimately get close to and share my life with, even if only for a little while. It's nice, but it's new, embryonic.

I'm beat. I guess that's all I got for now... more to come?

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